A Step-by-Step Guide to Choosing the Right Couples Therapist for Your Relationship
Relationships are beautiful—but even the strongest partnerships can face stress, conflict, or periods of disconnection. Whether you’re married, engaged, or in a long-term relationship , seeking marriage counseling or couples therapy can help you improve communication, rebuild trust, and reconnect.
But with so many therapists in the Bay Area, how do you find a good marriage counselor in San Francisco? Choosing the right therapist is more than searching a directory. It’s about finding someone whose expertise, approach, and personality fit your specific relationship needs.
Below, we’ll walk you through a step-by-step guide to finding a couples therapist—with real-life examples and professional insights from Christina Wade, LCSW, a San Francisco and San Mateo therapist specializing in relationship issues and LGBTQ+ affirming care.
Step 1: Understand Why You’re Seeking Counseling
Before you begin searching for a therapist, clarify what’s bringing you to therapy.
Are you…
- Struggling with communication breakdowns or recurring arguments?
- handling a major life transition like parenthood, relocation, or career changes?
- Rebuilding trust after infidelity or betrayal?
- Simply hoping to strengthen your bond before small issues escalate?
Understanding your goals will help you decide what kind of therapist or approach best fits your needs. For example, if your relationship involves trauma or identity concerns, a trauma-informed or LGBTQ+ affirming therapist like Christina Wade may be ideal.
Step 2: Know What Credentials and Training to Look For
When considering how to find a marriage counselor, credentials matter. In California, look for:
- LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist) or LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker) credentials. Christina Wade is an LCSW with nearly 20 years of experience supporting couples and individuals through anxiety, trauma, and relationship challenges.
- Specialized training in couples-focused methods like Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Gottman Method, or Attachment-Based Therapy.
- Experience with diverse couples, including interracial, intercultural, and LGBTQ+ relationships.
Therapists like Christina combine professional expertise with cultural sensitivity, ensuring that therapy respects your values and lived experiences.
Step 3: Use Reputable Directories and Resources
Knowing how to find a couples counselor starts with trusted resources. Here are the most effective options for how to find a good therapist in San Francisco—or even for people searching beyond, like finding a therapist in San Diego:
| Resource | Why It’s Helpful | Tips |
| Psychology Today Directory | Comprehensive listings with bios, specialties, and fees | Filter by “Couples Counseling” and your zip code |
| California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT) | Licensed professionals verified by the state | Look for therapists offering telehealth for flexibility |
| Referrals from Friends or Physicians | Personal recommendations from people you trust | Ask specifically about therapist style and outcomes |
| LGBTQ+ Community Centers | Especially valuable for queer, trans, or non-binary couples | Seek therapists with clear affirming language in profiles |
These platforms allow you to compare credentials, fees, and therapeutic approaches before reaching out.
Step 4: Read Therapist Profiles Carefully
When learning how to find a good marriage counselor , reading profiles is more than skimming credentials. Look for:
- Approach and Philosophy: Does the therapist describe therapy as collaborative, nonjudgmental, and goal-oriented? Christina, for example, emphasizes partnership and meeting clients “where they are,” creating a safe, affirming space.
- Specializations: Relationship issues, trauma, life transitions, and LGBTQ+ affirming care are key indicators of relevant expertise.
- Practical Details: Check for telehealth options, session length, availability, and transparent pricing. Christina offers 50-minute couples sessions at $200 per session and accepts select insurance plans, making therapy more accessible.
Step 5: Call for a Quick Consultation
Before starting couples therapy, many therapists, including Christina, offer a free 15-minute phone consultation. This is not a therapy session, but rather a chance to connect and gather information.
During the call, you can:
- Ask about the therapist’s approach to couples therapy
- Learn how conflicts or sensitive topics are managed in sessions
- Get a sense of what a typical appointment involves
- Clarify scheduling, fees, or other practical details
This brief conversation helps couples decide whether the therapist’s style and process feel like the right fit before committing to regular sessions.
Step 6: Discuss Costs and Insurance Early
How much does couples therapy cost? In San Francisco, the average rate for marriage counseling is $175–$275 per session, with Christina Wade offering couples sessions at $200.
To manage costs:
- Check Insurance: Christina accepts Aetna, Carelon Behavioral Health, and Quest Behavioral Health.
- Ask About Sliding Scales: Christina offers a limited sliding scale for clients with financial constraints.
- Plan for Frequency: Some couples start weekly, then transition to biweekly or monthly maintenance sessions as progress is made.
Discussing finances upfront ensures you can commit to therapy without added stress.
Step 7: Start with an Initial Consultation
The first consultation is the official starting point of therapy.
It’s designed to help both partners and the therapist understand each other before regular sessions begin.
During this meeting, you’ll share a brief history of your relationship, outline the main concerns, and discuss your goals for therapy.
The therapist explains their approach, answers any questions about the process, and sets expectations for future sessions.
This conversation helps everyone decide on the focus of the work and ensures you feel comfortable moving forward together.
Step 8: Evaluate Progress Together
Once therapy begins, revisit your goals regularly.
- Are arguments becoming more manageable?
- Do you feel more emotionally connected?
- Are you both using new tools outside of sessions?
Christina provides action steps and practical tools between sessions, like communication exercises or weekly check-ins, so growth continues beyond the therapy room.
Real-Life Example: Rebuilding Connection in San Francisco
Take the example of Maya and Leo, a couple in SoMa who sought therapy after years of unresolved tension. They felt like “roommates” and worried separation was inevitable.
Working with Christina, they learned to express needs without blame and to listen without defensiveness. Over time, their weekly arguments turned into constructive conversations. They not only avoided a breakup but reignited their affection and teamwork, proof that finding the right couples therapist can transform a relationship.
Christina Wade: A Trusted Choice for Couples in San Francisco
If you’re still wondering how to Find a Good Marriage counselor who truly understands Bay Area relationships, Christina Wade offers:
- Nearly 20 years of clinical experience as an LCSW.
- Expertise in trauma, anxiety, life transitions, and LGBTQ+ affirming therapy.
- Transparent pricing ($200 per couples session) with select insurance coverage.
- A warm, collaborative approach where therapy is a partnership, not a lecture.
Christina serves couples across San Mateo and San Francisco via secure telehealth, making therapy accessible and convenient.
Key Takeaways for Finding a Good Marriage Counselor
- Clarify Your Needs: Know your goals before starting the search.
- Check Credentials: Look for licensed professionals with couples-specific training.
- Use Trusted Directories: Psychology Today and CAMFT are excellent starting points.
- Schedule a Consultation: Connection matters as much as credentials.
- Discuss Costs Early: Avoid surprises and plan for consistent sessions.
Whether you’re in the Bay Area or exploring options elsewhere (even if you’re finding a therapist elsewhere in California), these steps will guide you toward the right fit.
Begin Your Search with Christina Wade
Finding the right therapist doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Start with a free consultation to see if Christina is the right partner for your journey.
- Phone: 510-686-3839
- Email: Click to Email Christina
- Location: Serving San Francisco, San Mateo, and all of California via secure online therapy.
Your relationship deserves support, understanding, and a clear path forward. The first step? Reaching out.
